AgentSkillsCN

delicate-conversation-scripts

当您需要传达艰难的反馈信息（如绩效问题、解雇决定、晋升遭拒），当管理者因惧怕冲突而回避必要的沟通，或当您亟需一套结构化的沟通脚本来应对高风险场景时，不妨采用这一方法。

SKILL.md
--- frontmatter
name: delicate-conversation-scripts
description: Use when delivering difficult feedback (performance issues, firing, promotion denial), when managers avoid necessary conversations due to fear, or when needing structured scripts for high-stakes communication

Delicate Conversation Scripts

Overview

A structured approach to delivering difficult feedback that relies on observable facts rather than judgment, reducing defensiveness and clarifying expectations.

Core principle: Your job is to drive results, not make employees happy. But doing it well preserves the relationship AND improves performance.

The Six-Step Script

code
┌─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┐
│  1. NEUTRAL OPENING                                             │
│     "I want to chat with you about [Topic]..."                  │
├─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│  2. OBSERVABLE EVIDENCE                                         │
│     "What I am hearing/observing is [Specific Fact]..."         │
│     NOT: "You're not a team player"                             │
│     YES: "In the last 3 meetings, you interrupted others 7x"    │
├─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│  3. SHARED REALITY                                              │
│     "We both know that to be successful here [Expectation]..."  │
├─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│  4. THE STAKES                                                  │
│     "If this doesn't change, [Consequence]..."                  │
├─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│  5. THE PAUSE                                                   │
│     Check for reaction/defensiveness.                           │
│     "I notice you're getting emotional..."                      │
├─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┤
│  6. THE FUTURE                                                  │
│     "I want to help you succeed by [Next Steps]..."             │
└─────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────────┘

Key Principles

PrincipleGoodBad
EvidenceObservable facts/dataJudgments/feelings
FramingCareer goals linkPersonal attack
MindsetHelp them improveVent your frustration
ReactionHold the lineBack down

Handling Emotional Reactions

When they get defensive/emotional:

  • •"I notice you're getting a little emotional..."
  • •"We can take a break if needed, but ultimately we need to have this conversation."
  • •Hold the line—don't back down just because it's uncomfortable.

Common Mistakes

  • •Vague to be "nice": Specifics are kinder in the long run
  • •Personality focus: Critique behavior, not character
  • •Backing down: When emotional reaction happens, persist

Example Application

Manager telling employee she's not getting promoted:

  • •✗ "You're just not ready"
  • •✓ "The skills we need for this role are X, Y, Z. My observation is you're strong in X but need development in Y and Z. I want to help you build those skills for the future."

Source: Alisa Cohn (Executive Coach, Top Startup Coach) via Lenny's Podcast